oh! and girl with the sweatshirt, I think you're wrong...

so this girl was walking in front of me yesterday on my way home and she was wearing a plain black zip-up hoodie that had "the last cut is the deepest" written on the lower-back area of the hoodie. exactly what I thought, that's completely contrary to what sheryl crow thinks.
I thought more about it, about all the "cuts", and, sure I am being judgmental, selfish, and a little opinionated (which is usually not really me, okay maybe sometimes), but anyhow, obviously there have been some scrapes and bruises that really don't merit consideration in comparison to the cuts, but in all honesty, the first cut really was the deepest. that damn cut took a truly long time to heal, in fact, I think sometimes it still stings. before that cut I thought I was tough and invincible. that cut made me question if I really knew what pain was before it. sometimes I think the few cuts after have really just opened up a wound that was already there but how can they compare? (rhetorical, of course). that cut changed everything. that cut changed the little girl.
who knows, I am sure ten years down the road when my seven children and I are saying fuck off to my lying, cheating, no-good, loser future first husband, then I might agree with the sweatshirt, but for now...I am with you sheryl!

tRy 2 uNdErStAnD tHe OnEs ThAt LoVe AnD tHeIr DeMaNdS

here's a little tribute to my favorites, okay 2nd favorites, that have been by far one of the most memorable performances, whom I cannot wait (even if it is only 1 month), and I do really hope that you...my one and only true follower and fan of nana going bananas will come with me!! I am forever grateful to Shrem for intensifying my love for the pumpkins, bless his heart...he made me fall in love with so many things.
just some of the loved and favorites...the poetry that touched me and changes with me as I go and go some more...

neither here nor there, just right beside you - beautiful

sprinkle all my kisses on your head - siva

cause it's hard luck when noone understands your love - farewell and goodnight

you'll be a lover in my bed and a gun to my head - ava adore

I send a heart to all my dearies, when your life is so so dreary...dream - mayonaise

and those moonsongs, that you sing your babies, will be the songs to see you through - luna

your strength is my weakness, your weakness my hate - thru the eyes of ruby

I'll hear your song, if you want me to, I'll sing along - luna

the opiate of blame, is you broken heart - soma

tell me, tell me what your after...I just want to get there faster - siva

open your eyes...to these must I lie - rhinoceros

I wanted more, than life could ever grant me - today

when you lie in your bed, and you lie to yourself - silverfuck

speak to me in a language I can hear - 33

you may find your love is gone and is not quite what it seemed - thru the eyes of ruby

peace will not come to this lonely heart - in the arms of sleep

and I'll always need her more than she could ever need me - in the arms of sleep

no apologies ever need be made, I know you better than you fake it - 1979

and nobody nowhere understands anything about me and all my dreams - stumbleine

I tried so hard, to cleanse these regrets - today

I just want to have some...little fun - plume

give me time , give me peace, and I will prove my release - the sacred and profane

although I'm selfish to a fault, is it selfish it's you I want - the crying tree of mercury

follow love, lest I learn - bring the light

all of those yesterdays, coming down - drown

yeah, I want something new, but what am I supposed to do about you? - hummer

time heals but I am forever broken - muzzle

have you ever heard the words I am singing in these songs? it's for the girl I've loved all along...can a taste of love be so wrong? - muzzle

what you said made a mess of me - obscured

what it is, it never was - plume

cause when a lover aches, that's when a lover breaks - spaceboy

and for a moment I lose myself, wrapped up in the pleasures of the world, I've journeyed here and there and back again, but in the same old haunts I still find my friends - 33

everything I want is in your lies - tarantula

and a bow to you mr. corgan, for you are truly an artist. these are in no particular order, of course, that's impossible to do. and these are barely all of them, but I came across the photo album I made for arez years ago with some of these and a few more fitting ones written in it, and thought how much peace and easyness these melodramatic lover's words give me...here's to a great weekend in the sun!

like heaven